Why I can't sleep

There are two impediments to my sleeping: anxiety and nasal/allergy. My nose is fucked up, the surgeon said it's one of the smallest he's ever seen on an adult and that he couldn't fix it. I'm very allergic to dust and dustmites so I have trouble breathing during the night (tiny nasal passages + rapidly gathering mucus = obvious result). I often spend 10 hours in bed to get 5 hours sleep. That's why I'm such a fan of BBC Overnight.

I took hard drugs until I was 27. MDA, speed, LSD (maybe five times, never liked it), shrooms, blow. Tried smoking freebase and smack but couldn't afford them. MDA was my favorite. Sort of went straight at 27 but continued smoking weed heavily. Very heavily. First thing in the morning, before work, all day when possible. Started with valium and ativan four years ago. I was mostly smoking weed and gobbling pills in bed during my last 2.5 years in SF. Gave up ativan a few months before I left; smoked pot on 4/30 with my neighbors, my last night in SF, and haven't touched it since. Valium is my last vice (I'm not counting antidepressants, which were poisonous and no fun). I took five valium last night because I was still up at 3 and I wanted to hang myself in the basement. 17 left in the bottle. One way or another, I will soon be clean. In a perfect world, all substances would be legal and I'd spend my remaining years in a narcotic fog.